It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
