the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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