just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
