Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.

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(916): View more from California

You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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(734): View more from Michigan

He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.

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(360): View more from Washington

I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off

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(206): View more from Washington

I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again

(1-206): View more from Washington

RESPECT THE VODQUILA

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(518): View more from New York

You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here

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(507): View more from Minnesota

so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?

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