im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
where are you?
Hypothermia
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
