Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
