Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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