omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
