Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You pole danced in your parka.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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