so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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