I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
