so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
