ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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