While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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