fuck your aforementioned shoe
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
