I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
