Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
