He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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