this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am one with the molecules
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
