Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
