a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
