I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
