Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We just shotgunned beers for America
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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