i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
