...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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