im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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