I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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