fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We need to rekindle our bromance
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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