sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
