i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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