I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
