all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You ruined the universe
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
