oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
