and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
