i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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