It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
