A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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