hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
