Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
