I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she smelled like a LAN party
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How does one acquire holy water?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize