K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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