yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
