Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i've created a new STD.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
