We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
