i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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