hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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