Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
