he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's always time for handjobs
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
