It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
