Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
