He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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