Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
