If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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