What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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