I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
