shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
