ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
