Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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