I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
