What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
