Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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