Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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